Just now, as I was laying in bed I thought about my day and how much my emotional state changed throughout the day. This morning started out pretty rough for me as I talked with Lee about how hard it is emotionally but I also have continuous physical reminders all the time. Taking meds, cramping, my swollen stomach, bleeding (sorry I'm just being honest), headaches and recently some other things that probably wouldn't be the best to blog about. Yesterday, I tried to shop for clothes and I ended up crying and walking out empty handed. Buying them meant so much more, an end. I'm not ready to move on even if others feel the need for me to. I am trying to be strong, don't get me wrong but I'm also not Wonder Woman. So these were a lot of my thoughts going on this morning but then afternoon came. This is when more blessings started pouring and I want to share in the hopes it will give me so peaceful sleep.
Here is the list of some of the ways God has used strangers, friends & family to comfort us. I know some of these I've mentioned before but they are extremely worthy of repeating:
- From the time we found out about sonogram results, our team mates were feeding our kids, the girls came up to the hospital to be with me and pretty much started a visiting vigil until we went home on Saturday.
- Our Team dressed our kids, took them to school, picked them up, brought them up to see us at the hospital and so much more.
- People in Abilene (Ryan and Holly Morris & Tom and Diane Rose) started the fastest money raising friendze you have ever seen. I don't even know who all contributed to this but you are all amazing! This will help pay for hospital bills, mom's flight and so much more.
- The money raised got my mom here the day that they induced labor, there is nothing like having your mom with you during these times.
- We have received hundreds of emails and comments on our post from people praying for us and hurting with us.
- Our team, has been PRESENT, that's the best way I can describe them. When the whole procedure was happening on Friday morning, they were just in the waiting room praying, talking and taking turns in the room. I never felt alone. They contacted people for us while I was in surgery through their computers, got my mom and Lee food and since we've been home, they have been over here, they had cleaned up the house, bought us flowers, called us just to check in, brought homework by and even took me out to buy me a couple of shirts. This baby boy has bonded our team for life. Take THAT Satan!
- So as I was earlier describing my morning (bad)... this is what happened in the afternoon- John Mark (our teammate) came by the house and made some DELIVERIES! The school had purchased an unbelievable bouquet of flowers that stood 4 feet tall, someone had made a beautiful chocolate cake with sprinkles, a family at the school had made a wonderful meal and he handed me an envelope that had more money in it that I could count. The card was from all the students and they passed a bucket in chapel for me to specifically go out and by clothes. This all happened this afternoon! Oh and lastly John Mark hands us another wad of money that is from a "donor" for us to go and get some R&R time together. John Mark, make sure and tell your donor thanks (ha ha). You two are unbelievable.
- I know there's more but my sleeping pill is kicking in. We've been given cards, books on grieving (that I stayed up reading till I could finally go to sleep), notes to study from my classes and countless other things.
One more thing and then I'm done, I promise. I was talking to one of my best friends-Holly Morris yesterday and she told me about someone asking her if our spirits were OK, or if we were possibly going to have to come back. They were just so worried about our spirits being crushed. They weren't just talking about the baby but about the last 6 months of our lives. To re-cap: we have been attacked by Satan non-stop for about 6 months. From trying to find financial support to the mission field, hectic living situations cause we didn't know where we were going to live until one week before we had to leave the Friendship House, moving two more times that summer, being a very sick pregnant mama with two toddlers, finding out Sofia's hole is her heart needed repairing (possibly in Jan.), traveling everywhere for training, packing all of our stuff to Peru, Costa Rica and some in Abilene for when we move back there in Jan., my grandfather passing away two weeks before we had to depart, moving to another country and then losing a child.
Holly answered them in a great way, I thought (I'm paraphrasing here) "Obviously someone is trying to keep them from getting to their destination but you better watch out cause even though their spirits are crushed in some ways, they WILL come out stronger and they WILL do the work God has called them to do. I mean if they have been hit this hard, God must have an incredible plan for them."
Thanks Holly, I will keep telling myself that as I try to once again lay my head down.