Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Not Sure What To Title This Post

The last few weeks I have found myself wanting so bad to blog about what was going in our lives here and every time something stopped me. Last night I thought back to the first time when I posted on this blog, the night I delivered Levi in a Costa Rica hospital. I needed an outlet and since then I have tried to share our families joys, struggles, fun times, moves around the country, our ministry, pictures and just life in general.

Well today is one of those days that I need to get back to being real. Not that I haven't been real in the past but I really have tried to stick to the "positive" aspects of being a missionary in Peru. I don't know the exact audience that reads this blog and I don't ever want to sound insensitive or offensive when it comes to cultural differences. I completely understand that we are the "outsiders" here and that we have not come here to change Peruvian culture but to show them Christ and serve God by serving them.
I also understand that there is wisdom in not ALWAYS sharing what is on my mind and heart (though I might forget the line sometimes :) ALL this being said today I just need to VENT.
If you are not in the mood to listen to my venting or just want to look at pictures, well check the blog later this week, haha!

Ok, so this is already sounding dramatic and I'm not meaning for it to. Today has just been a day that I have felt weary, tired and just plain annoyed.
I'm annoyed that I get honked at about 37 times when I go for the 5 minute drive to pick up Sofia from school
I'm annoyed that I'm out of my favorite Keurig tea and just can't order some directly
I'm annoyed that because of the way I look (ok, maybe the accent gives it away) that I'm always being treated like I'm incapable of figuring something out or that I have an unlimited bank account
I'm annoyed that I still can only catch about 1/3 of a conversation and I want SO bad to communicate with people here
I'm annoyed at myself for crying 4 times in a 24 hour period
I'm annoyed that Lee and I are probably moving out of our house we have been in for only 7 months.
I'm annoyed that rent in Lima is more than I would ever dream of paying for in the States and that it's in a "safe" area of Lima yet our neighbors got their car robbed at gunpoint a couple months ago
I'm annoyed that Sofia doesn't want to move AGAIN and that as a parent I wish I could change that for her
I'm annoyed that I can't just pick up a cell phone and talk to my mom or my friends because I have to dial up on a computer and half the time one of us can't hear the other
I'm annoyed that it's always cold in my house and there is no reprieve
I'm MOST annoyed that I'm even SLIGHTLY annoyed by ANY of this when there are people a few minutes away that don't get to eat somedays and that are freezing at night
I'm annoyed that there is no beginning or end to our hours as missionaries.
I'm annoyed that we had to go get an MRI on Sofia's head because she continues to have headaches which cause her to throw up
I'm annoyed that all three kids have coughs and runny noses
I'm annoyed that my dad won't get to see Liam during his whole first year of life except for when he was born and then when he's one.
I'm annoyed that I feel like an ungrateful person

Well, how's that for honesty? I'm going to end this on a good note and tell you ALL the things I am Joyous about (well at least most days, just today I have had to remind myself of these ALL day)
I'm thankful that my in-laws and Lee's Grannie are coming tomorrow
I'm thankful for Meche who works with me at the house and that is such a tremendous blessing
I'm thankful that my husband is so good at budgeting (except for the part about having to move houses)
I'm thankful that I live in a place where people are open to the word of God
I'm thankful that Lee is such a good dad and husband
I'm thankful that Sofia and Maddox are in great schools and love their teachers
I'm thankful for friends back home that encourage us, send us packages, email us, call us and pray for us continually
I'm thankful for our church families and supporters who are SO supportive of our work
I'm thankful for the friendships I've made here like Meche, Christina, Leidy, Rocio & Claudia
I'm thankful that I've been able to start my exercise classes and that they are going good
I'm SO thankful that as a mom, my kids give me "do-overs" all the time and still love me
I'm thankful for the people in Villa Maria who continually teach me what it truly means to be simple and grateful.

Well I feel better already. I'm apologizing right now for the length of this blog. It has been a while since I have written an entry like this but I just needed it today. No idea if anyone is actually going to read it but at least I know my mom & Holly will, HAHA. Oh and sorry about not going into so many details about some of the things listed but I was really not wanting to write a book.


Holly said...

Oh, man I want to be there to give you and big hug, cry with you and then do/say something really dumb to make us both laugh:) Love you! I know this is such a challenging time for you guys. You will be stronger in the end though!!! Isn't is so weird that we moved together and now are both likely having to move houses AGAIN together? Weird. Praying for you. Tomorrow I'm on the road from 10:30 to 1:30, call me if you can. Love you all!!!! Holly

Rocío said...

Step, creo que a pesar de todo aquello que ahora te hace sentir mal, tu eres bendecida porque tienes una linda familia, porque tienes un esposo muy bueno que te ama mucho, tienes tres hijos maravillosos y tienes a un Dios que te ama y te acompaña siempre.
Despues de aquella experiencia tan dificil que me ha tocado vivir con mi madre te puedo asegurar que si tienes a Dios contigo tienes mucho, porque aquellas personas que tienen en la vida todo como tranquilidad, dinero y quiza mucha salud pero no conocen a Dios pues no tienen NADA.
Tu mision y la de tu familia es mas importante ante los ojos de Dios que ante los ojos del hombre.
Yo te quiero mucho y quiero mucho a tu familia no olvides que eres una hermana para mi.

Anonymous said...

I read it. Amazing how life can be so good and yet some days it feels so bad. Take one issue at a time, do not sweat the small stuff.
We heard bad news today. Josh McVay decided to end his life Sunday night. So sad--he and Cory spent many hours playing as little guys. I hate that Penny and Clif are having to go through this.
Amazing that no matter how difficult things seem--there is always a bigger problem. OF course that does not mean your issues are not important and need addressing!!!!
Trust, relax and try to have fun
Aunt Penny

danny said...

Stephanie, I love reading your blog! Your honesty ---and your zest for life --is wonderful. It is not easy what you all have chosen to do---but, you are doing a wonderful "job"! We love you all and pray for you daily.

Love and Hugs!

Anonymous said...

Hola Steph:
Creo que esos días los tenemos todos, ser Cristiano en este mundo y sobre todo en otra cultura no es fácil. Pero tenemos a nuestro Dios que siempre esta con nosotros, solamente sujétate de el. Como ya se te lo he dicho antes, ustedes como familia son un ejemplo a seguir, ya quisiéramos tener mucho de nosotros ese desprendimiento y ese amor que dan a los demás. Sigan adelante! La obra que están haciendo es maravillosa. Recuerda lo que dice la palabra: "aquel que la buena obra empezo será fiel en terminarla en ustedes”.

Para esos días en los que te sientas desanimada o triste, cuenta conmigo, para eso están los amigos.

Aquí te dejo un pasaje, aprópiate de esa promesa de Dios.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Muchos cariños Christina

Olivia said...

I love you Steph. You are so sweet and wonderful, and honesty is so refreshing. I am thinking about you all. Please let us know about Sofia. I am worried about her. Love you all.

Katie said...

Love you, Steph. We miss you a lot here - but we know that you are doing wonderful, powerful things in Lima. I sure miss seeing your kiddos run around in the front yard, though. :)

Praying for you this weekend - for an extra dose of grace and humor! Love to all the Fletchers from the Gibsons.

Anonymous said...

i love reading your blog and posts like this too! praying for you this week steph! i live with the best convenienses all around me and could still make a list like this most days. you'll be blessed for choosing to serve god in Peru instead of an easy convienent life. love u! thx for your sweet note on facebook. my esther should meet your liam someday :) Hannah Stevens Borgmeyer

Valerie said...

I read your blog and I love that you share your life! Your posts always make me smile. So I'm thinking of you & your family & your mission and sending love from Alabama. My family is on the move again and we will be relocating to the DC area next week.
p.s. I might have missed this - but why do y'all have to move again?!