It’s only been over a year since I posted on this blog so I thought I would come back with a BANG!!!
This blog all started with our journey to Peru. You journeyed with us to Costa Rica for language school. You grieved with us at the loss of our unborn baby Levi. You laughed (and probably rolled your eyes a few times) at our ups and downs about living the crazy life of missionaries in Lima, Peru. You prayed for our family through mission projects, fundraising, hard times as parents, health issues with our kids and more recently our malaria craze! Well now we want to ask you all to join us on another journey….Adoption.
As I write that word A LOT of emotions flood my mind and my heart. I’m excited and scared to death all at the same time. It’s no secret that parenting has been a journey in itself for me and some people are probably reading this thinking “what in the WORLD are you guys thinking!?!?!” and well, they would be right.
It’s something that I have dreamed about since I was 14 years old and started going on mission trips to Haiti and Romania. I dreamed of adopting two little Haitians with afros as big as mine and NOTHING would stop me. I was even blessed enough to marry a man who also wanted to adopt children one day. Then something happened… I had kids of my own. All these fears and negative feelings I never had before started creeping into my heart and soul. Words like “you don’t have enough patience for more”, “you have a hard enough time with the 3 you already have!”, "you don't like crafts, playing barbies for hours and can't even keep up with chore charts! , "what if you feel differently about your adopted kids than your biological kids?" and on and on and on.
So, I started talking and thinking about it less. It was still a hope that Lee and I would talk about every once in a while but soon became a touchy subject with us. He was still 100% in and I was just not there. This past year Lee and I had some hard talks and he shared how hard my "backing out" of adoption was. I told him I wasn't backing out, I was just needing some time to get ready (I think I was waiting for a sign like having a kid dropped off on my doorstep as one of those "sure signs.") We quickly found out that even our views on adoption weren't quite the same and wondered how in the world we were going to compromise on an issue such as a child. I wanted slightly older, he wanted younger. I wanted Haitians or Africans and he wanted whatever. He wanted them yesterday and I wanted to wait until our kids were older. Then something else happened at the end of last year.... I read a book and my heart slowly began to change. Lee and I came to these conclusion:
We realized that those verses in the bible that say to take care of the orphans and widows were for real.
We realized that we had 3 kids that were dying for some siblings and not only open to adoption but begging for it.
We realized that every call isn't necessarily what you want or how you want it but that's the perfect kind of mess that helps us to lean on the One we are suppose to.
We also realized that lots of kids need loving home and well...we had one available. Boom. It was actually that simple.
When I started viewing adoption as a calling instead of fearing all the unknowns and waiting for something magical to happen in me, the ball started rolling. I started realizing that there was never going to be a perfect time or I was never going to have enough patience on my own, so I told myself to get over it. This was a challenge. A challenge for me to let go of ME and let God move. I figured I've been called to other things in the past where I didn't feel sufficient (oh I don't know like being a MISSIONARY!) and God provided in mighty ways, so here we go! I'm going answer the call (gulp) and then just depend on God for all the rest (Lord knows I hope He has a few tricks up His sleeve:)
So here is the beginning of our story folks. Our meeting last night was just another confirmation that THIS is right. We had so many questions and thought at some point that they would tell us we couldn't adopt because of timing, that we already had too many kids, that getting the child into the US would be too hard or that we wouldn't be able to have two. Well ALL of our questions were met with positivity and encouragement.
We start our adoption classes next week and they will run for 6 weeks. During that period we will be SCRAMBLING to get a ton of paperwork done. We have to have tons of documents notarized in the US then shipped here etc... it will NOT be easy but it will be worth it. We will also need to find an agency in the US that will agree to 3 years of post-adoption counseling and paperwork. Were going to take this one day at a time though and not get overwhelmed (who am I kidding?!?! I know I will have MANY overwhelming days, haha!)
We should be on the waiting list in 6 months and at that point we can get a call at any time that will give us 7 days to accept or deny that child. We are going for TWO (we have a thing about wanting two kids that look alike so they have someone they can physically relate to in the family, though Maddox is looking more and more like a Peruvian these days:) We can't choose gender but lets not lie, we are hoping for a boy and a girl. Obviously we will be happy with whatever we get:)
Well this is as much as I know at this point. I love that you all are going to be on this journey with us in so many different capacities!!! Mostly we just need prayers for peace, for quick paperwork and to prepare all of our hearts for whoever God brings to our family.
Oh and I will accept any adoption advice ever known to man! I'm going to need all the help, lawyers, agencies, prayers, advice, books, counseling that you can ever imagine!!! Let's DO THIS!!!!